As you can see I’ve been taking it easy the last couple of weeks, giving my hands and eyes and head a rest from the computer and allowing myself time to just hang out, which can be ever so irritating until you get used to the idea you don’t have to be online and on top of everything every minute. The holidays evoke mixed emotions for me (ring any bells?) so I usually go into the major ones with caution, wary that I’m prone to the cynic’s point of view and that watching It’s a Wonderful Life or Elf might send me over the edge into the black night of judgment about materialism and fantasy and how all the rituals we so piously deign as originating with the Christian tradition have their roots in pagan Solstice celebrations or Norse mythology or Wall Street entrepeuners. My husband is the festive one in the family and every year gets out the handtruck and swivels the potted sequoia tree into the house, pulls the plastic bins full of ornaments out of the garage and festoons not only the tree, but every flat surface in the living, dining and sun rooms with angels, bells, drums, reindeer, Santas, ribbons and stockings in green, red, gold and silver. I’ve learned to surrender to it all. He loves it. It makes him happy and truthfully, it does serve as a reminder that life is joyous and playful, if you take the time to see it that way.

We stayed in L.A. this year. In the past we’ve used this break from work to travel to India, Bali, Costa Rica, Yosemite, Oregon and other getaways, where we can reflect on the year just passed, make plans for the year ahead and just get out of the magnetic field of the eight million people zipping around Southern California. The weather was superb and the vibe pretty mellow around the city this year. We went on a couple of hikes up in the Hollywood Hills at Runyon Canyon, where dogs are king and can run off leash. We had a delicious Greek dinner at Taverna Tony’s in Malibu with the staff of our chiropractic office; Jane, Lori & Dr. Theo. We didn’t make it to any movies, though we watched Pirates of the Carribean Part 2 and the aforementioned, Elf, on video. Our son, Sat Sangeet, came down from San Francisco for three days over New Years and we played a couple of games of Scrabble, had breakfast with friends after one of our Runyon excursions and while my husband went to the Rose Parade he and I took a long walk to the parkand back then hung out, watching the parade on TV then the Rose Bowl game.

It was relaxing. I found myself letting go of "the push," allowing for flow to happen.  There is no urgency. There is no deadline. The only deadline is when I die and really that’s just a transition to another energy field, so why not take it easy, be kind, look into the eyes of not only my dear ones, but every ONE? What’s all this desperate scrambling about? Why can’t things just unfold? It’s like taking this hard, hard clay of determination and driven-ness and pouring water over it until it softens, softens and can be gently molded into a work or art, something smooth and curved, something that never would have come forth had it been kept in a clenched ball, not allowed to breathe, to open up. 

I go into 2007 knowing that there are still many doors in my psyche that need to be pried open so that the fresh air of gratitude and joy can flow into the dusty and musty corners of old thinking. In my writing, my thoughts, spoken words and deeds I am ready for more beauty, grace and kindness to be present. In each of us there is the most profound wonder that exists–that unique combination and permutation of time, space and circumstances that is who we are, the only one that ever was and ever will be, who is uniquely me and perfectly you. It’s pretty heady stuff when you think about it. Seems like a big waste if you don’t run with it, or swim, or fly with it. So, for you my prayer is that each minute of each hour of each day of the coming year be a bounty of blessings, whether they look or taste or feel like it, they always are and may you look in the mirror and love that crooked nose, wrinkles around the eyes, the funny way your mouth tilts. It’s all perfect, simply because it is.

The Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades at the Self Realization Fellowship Center 

Holiday Dinner with (left to right) Lori, Jane, Me, Hubbie & Dr. Theo 

The Family at Runyon Canyon 

Breakfast at Hugo’s in Hollywood with friends. 

 
Sleeping in and snuggling with Yoshi. 

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A Man in His Life

A man in his life has no time to have
Time for everything.
He has no room to have room
For every desire. Ecclesiastes was wrong to claim that.

A man has to hate and love all at once,
With the same eyes to cry and to laugh
With the same hands to throw stones
And to gather them,
Make love in war and war in love.

And hate and forgive and remember and forget
And order and confuse and eat and digest
What long history does
In so many years.

A man in his life has no time.
When he loses he seeks
When he finds he forgets
When he forgets he loves
When he loves he begins forgetting.

And his soul is knowing
And very professional,
Only his body remains an amateur
Always. It tries and fumbles.
He doesn’t learn and gets confused,
Drunk and blind in his pleasures and pains.

In autumn, he will die like a fig,
Shriveled, sweet, full of himself.
The leaves dry out on the ground,
And the naked branches point
To the place where there is time for everything.

Yehuda Amichai
Yehuda Amichai: A Life of Poetry: 1948-1994
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.